Wednesday, October 28, 2009

A GOOD LISTENER OR A MEER DECORATION

When we know that there are people among us who doesn't speak our language, is it considered polite to continue talking with the rest using our own language? Don't this kind of 'treatment' make the minority other feels outcast-ed, an outsider? We see discrimination as being racist, gender separation or those heavy matters we heard on the news, yet in many small things we have discriminated people around us, more than we know.

It happened not only once, countless times until it becomes a usual thing, but as someone who is alive with all senses still working fine, it irritates me all the same.

At office we have not only locals but also foreigners. English is the main language, although in practice Chinese is widely use. For work, sometimes Chinese is used to communicate with Chinese spoken clients, consultants and contractors. It's understandable, that's how to communicate with them.
The thing is many times during our lunch together, some just like to continue talking in Chinese, when they know that their so called friends know only English, other than their own mother tongue, of course. It's good when I have my Thai friends, as I will still have friends to talk with even when the other start to speak in Chinese. But at times when it's only me and the locals, ... well, I just need to enjoy my food and be a good listener, whether or not I understand any words.
Actually no point in eating with friends like that as it's same like eating alone accompanied by a radio tuned in Chinese.  channel. I was not invited in the conversations. It was unspoken yet the gesture was rude.

One funny thing is that when the Thais or when I still had my Indonesian friends, when we were talking with each other in our own languages, there were this rule to obey "English please!"

I am not against non-English talking. I have my Bahasa and I am proud and love talking in it. I value that I have many non-English spoken friends, it's same like having living dictionaries all around me, whenever I need some words/phrases in Thais or Chinese, etc I just go and ask them. Varieties do enhance our world.
Of course it is understandable if you talk in your mother tongue with you own people. But respect should arise when situation doesn't able us to do so.

Back to my story, we all know English, we are helped having English, why do we have to swim when we already have the bridge? I thought we are mingling, communicating, despite of our differences....

The only way to console myself and manage this matter is by only thinking positive. In a way it can boost me to go grab Chinese dictionary and learn it. And for sure the experience will be a good reminder for me not to treat other as 'the good listener' or 'a decoration' when I am in such situation because I know how sucks it feels to be ignored. I rarely use bad words when I use it's really is bad.

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